Dear John Letters

ZERBERT
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.

This is the first in a series of birthday letters to JEB. I must admit that I stole the idea from someone else, but here goes ...

Dear JEB,

You are 10 months old today, but I feel like your my new baby doll toy. Sometimes you're an unbelievably fun toy that I want to take everywhere and show off and brag about, and other times you're a toy that requires lots of assembly and batteries in a size that we don't have in the house (and we suspect they don't even sell). But you are ALWAYS MY favorite perty.

Obviously you aren't yet aware that I know what's best for you. And partially you are right; however, I wish that you could just trust me on the matter of electrical outlets.

You sleep with your butt in the air. You eat with your hands ... the spoon is so insulting to you that we don't even try anymore. Diaper changes are like holy war in our house. Up to now, I have always come out the victor, but I can see that that ability will continue to diminish as you get bigger and stronger. You can wave and give high fives. You practice soccer daily. You like your toys, but you really love cold bottles, the stereo, and the computer's on/off button. You eat pickles and spaghetti (sometimes together). You grab your sippy cup when you're thirsty and throw it when you're all done. You LOVE your daddy.

You are certainly the hardest work I've ever done. I'm trying my best, but I'm still so far from the supermom that I want to be for you. I haven't yet learned how to contain my love -- it still burns up everything around it like a wildfire -- my career, my relationships with friends and family, my ability to control the panic I feel when when I start thinking about how lucky I am and what if it were all taken away suddenly? But I'm working on it, and I always will.

Love,
Mama