Thursday, December 09, 2010

And the moral of the story is ... Don't keep napkins in your glove box.

Today I got one of the most interesting student-teacher holiday gifts I've ever received: A copy of The Noble Qur'An in the English Language with the parts about Jesus marked with a post-it note.

That may even beat the 2008 Anatomically Correct Naked Porcelain Asian Baby and Brian's 2009 Tim McGraw Cologne Box Set.

Which reminds me ... I sent in my cash for Ms. Lash's Christmas gift this week. The Room Mom requested that we all give cash, half of which will be given in the form of gift cards to The Teacher Store for classroom use and the other half for plain and simple Lashcash. Very appropriate in my opinion.

Much more appropriate than the request for cash to purchase hand warmers for the teachers who stand outside directing traffic in the drop-off & pick-up lines.

It's not that I have anything against those who direct traffic. I certainly am not holding a grudge about the fact that one of them told me I had my "JOHN BECKER" sign on the wrong sun viser.

It's just that $20 from each of Ms. Lash's students seems like WAY more than it would cost to provide them a full set of Land's End outterwear, much less some stinkin' hand warmers.

And sometimes I just wanna say, "THEY'RE NOT DESTITUTE, YOU KNOW."

Instead I write back with things like, "Thanks so much for organizing this! My check is in the mail!" as if I am a member of their cult, willing to fund all necessary outreach efforts.

But after the Lash Christmas gift request, I did have a little more than usual to say, which may or may not have been received well. One never knows with email.

I have this fear that all the parents will agree to one thing and then do another.  For example, we have joint birthday parties every 3rd Friday, and all the kids whose birthdays have occurred during that month have a party.  It's a well-known practice at John's school for parents to say that they are only going to bring cupcakes and then show up with cupcakes, chips, sandwiches, cookies, juice boxes, a veggie tray, and goody bags.  So, the plan to give a set amount of money seemed really easy and appropriate to me, but I wondered ... will everyone else give the money AND a separate gift?

So I wrote back to the room mom, and it went something like this:

Hi Christy!  Thanks so much, as always, for organizing this really important endeavor.  I think the half cash, half gift card idea is great and very appropriate; however, I do have one concern.  Do you think that other families will donate AND give Ms. lash a gift ... because the amount you have asked for might prevent some families from doing both. 

And then I tried to make it funny ... you know, lighten the mood a bit.

One of the reasons I love the idea of giving cash is because my husband is a public school teacher, and boy has he received some doozy presents in the past!  My favorite one was the box set of Tim McGraw cologne (regular & travel size).  So I guess what I'm saying is that I want to make sure I don't need to write a check AND buy some Faith Hill perfume. ha ha ha!  LOL! 

This is the message I received in reply:

Dear Kimberly,
I can assure you that no one is going to donate cash AND purchase Faith Hill perfume.
Thanks for sending your check!

So today I went Christmas shopping in the hopes of spotting something just perfect for Ms. Lash.  I was really looking for a monogrammed hula hoop, but considering the cost of that added to the donation I've already made, I opted for hand lotion.  And all the while I was driving around town, my defroster was working perfectly.

Which is a great change from last week.

You see, over the weekend, my defroster died.  The mechanic informed us that a shredded Chick-fil-A napkin had virtually destroyed the defrost fanblower. 

Which costs $135 to replace.

Which is why Ms. Lash will not get her monogrammed hula hoop this year.
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The Spears Family said...

That's funny. The Faith Hill perfume is the best part. I can't believe you wrote that to the woman.

Cindy said...

Who knew that napkin could do so much damage. I better clean out my car more often.

Basha's Mama said...

Crap - I'm supposed to buy his teacher a present? We have no hyper-organizational freak room mother to make my life easier. Do you think Jessica Simpson perfume would work too?

Jacci said...

I would actually go with the Britney Spears perfume.
as always kim, you've made me laugh out loud to my computer screen!

MelanyTN said...

I've always loved how Brian smells. Kind of like an urban cowboy. Now I know why.