Sunday, July 30, 2006

Playdates & Big Boats

While I was out of town last week, The Dad took The Goose on a Playdate with a Park Regular's Grandson. This particular Park Regular happens to have a fantastic hobby, which includes baking us delicious sweet treats and leaving them on our doorstep. A couple weeks ago he left a chocolate cake and brownies, just in time for Aunty Ummy's visit. The combination of having Ummy here and having a whole lot of chocolate was really just OBSCENE. Even The Dad, who never splurges and has Will Power of Steel, was caught hacking off about a quarter of the cake and stuffing it down his throat. Anyway ... back to the kids ...

The Goose and his new friend are about the same age and size and share many of the same interests:


Loading buckets.




A coupla busy guys.

Earlier today The Goose and I took a walk in the sweltering heat. It was either that or go to the mall to ride the escalators. Our Sunday afternoon traditions. Today was definitely a walk day because The Dad was working on one of the trails with the mule (a small truck-like thing), which is a Goose Obsession. One day we saw a ranger named Shane driving the mule and pulling a boat behind it and ever since then The Goose has been saying, "Nane. A mule. That big boat." I love that he now applies the rule about singular count nouns requiring an article.

A Mule

He likes to say "Big" with anything, but particularly with the word "boat." Now here I have to stop and go off on a tangent for just a minute about tense and lax vowel sounds. Case in point: Have y'all seen Finding Nemo? There's a part in that movie where Nemo and his buddies are looking up at a boat from under the ocean. One of the kidfishes says, "What's that?" and another answers, "I think it's called a butt." Another says something like, "Wow. That's a big butt." And that, my friends, is an example of the tense/lax vowel contradiction. The vowel sound in "boat" is more tense (tenser?) than that of "butt." Just feel how the muscles in your throat and mouth contract while saying each of those words out loud.

Now, picture this: One day just after that Brownie/Ummy incident, I was in The Goose's room on the floor doing some back stretches -- which included Downward Facing Dog Pose -- while The Goose was still in his crib waking up. As I pushed myself up from Table Pose into Down Dog, he looked down at me and said, "BiiiiiIIIIG BOAT!" I'm not sure, but I think that perhaps he has the same problem as Nemo's friend with his tense and lax vowels.

Just to get in a little more practice with segmental phonemes, y'all should try to say this one too: "BIIIIiiiiiig Boots."

BIiiiig Boots

Now I know y'all are all just sitting there wondering how I can possibly link all of this randomness together, but watch this ... I am good:

Thank you very much Mr. Park Regular Baker Man for letting The Goose play with your grandson, and for adding the few extra pounds I needed to be mistaken for a Big Boat.

As a final anecdote, I would like to tell you all about our new method of Passing Time in the Car. First, we hear a screech from the Toddler Car Seat Area (TCSA). Then, Mama says, "Use signs or words please." Next come the signs "sing" and "please" from the TCSA. Mama now says," What song should we sing?"

"DIIIIIiiiiiiiggggGGGG!" from TCSA.

Mama: "OK, let's sing the digger song: -- The wheels on the digger go round and ...

TCSA: "Dah-Dah! Ha ha ha! Dah-Dah! Diiiiiiig!"

Dah-Dah: "round, round and round (arms rolling in front of chest/tummy area), ... all through the town."

Mama (still singing): "The lights on the digger go flash, flash, flash (fingers/hands open and shut -- TCSA says, "FASH! FASH!! FASH!!!"), flash, flash, flash, flash, flash (repeat) ... all through the town.Mama & GooseyHere he is doing some "FASHING."

Mama (still the only one singing although other passengers seem highly motivated to participate nonverbally): "The excavator bucket goes ..."

TCSA: "Dig dig dig!!!!!!!!!!!!! Diiiiiiig Diiiig Diiiiig! Dah-dah! DIIIIiiiiigggg!!! Ha ha ha. Dah-dah. DIIIIiiiiiiggggg! Meow!!!!!"

Mama: "Kitty cats on the digger say 'meow, meow, meow' ... Arty Dogs on the digger say 'woof, woof, woof,' ... The babies on the digger say, 'wah, wah, wah' ... The mamas on the digger say, 'shhh, shhh, shhh' ...


And now wouldn't you know that Pottery Barn makes an entire bedset called "Little Builder." It has a quilt with excavators and dump trucks on it and we may just spend part of our Future House Downpayment Money to buy the whole set just because it would make him smile.

Have a great week!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

You might be tired if ...

You let your almost two-year old eat straight out of the pumpkin pie tin on a day that's not even his birthday or Thanksgiving.

WEEK OF JULY 24 005.JPG...

You let your houseguests read stories to your kid while you sack out on the floor.

WEEK OF JULY 24 005.JPG...

You let your houseguests sweep and mop your floor while you blab your mouth on the phone. (no pictures of this one, but y'all: he's 13 and he insisted -- we may have to keep him)

You turn around and see your almost-two year old sporting these sunglasses and flinging around a man-sized hammer really closed to the newly-replaced window. (couldn't get the hammer in the shot)

WEEK OF JULY 24 005.JPG...

Your name is Jo Mama and you have NOTHING else to say. Now that's bad.

G'night y'all.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Pool Cheese & Banky Capes

This one might just have to be pictures. I'm feeling sorta steamrolled today.

Meet Cheesy Pool Man.

a.k.a. ...

Cape Made Out of a Blanket Man:

Cape Man (thank you very much CHRIS for this lovely and high maintenance game)

Now you see him ...

Then you just DON'T!

In a Flash ...  HE'S GONE

'Cuz he's gone in a flash of blue ratty satin and polyester blend.

But don't worry ... he'll be back when he gets hungry. Or when the cape falls off.


Sunday, July 16, 2006


Dear Goose,

Happy 22 months to you ... only two more to go until you become "terrible" as they say. Hmmm ... new subject!

Like you, everything around here is growing wildly. Maybe it’s in the water … your hair had grown to resemble our madly expanding tomato plants until we decided that you needed a trim. You’re much more clean-cut now. When I look at your pictures from yesterday, it’s like you’re a party-animal frat boy. And today your pictures look more like you’ve decided to attend law school. I’m OK with all of that, but I do miss those curls. However, they were only good on the high humidity days or just after a shampoo. And it’s just not enough to only have good hair days once in a while. A guy has his pride, I know.

maters gone wild

(Note the similarities between the out-of-control maters and the hair -- not surprising since you both drink hose water.)

The most important thing that has happened in this past month is that your language use has doubled, tripled, quadrupled! I am ecstatic about this because (a) I am a grammar dork, (b) you can communicate better, and (c) it is hilarious. First of all, you remember everything ... we can drive into the parking lot of Steinmart and you say, "Meow!" because we bought Mia the Meow there. Once inside, your gaze travels to the boutique section, and you promptly cry, "Cookie!" because once they were having an open house and you chowed some chocolate chip cookies while I tried on job interview shirts. How do you remember that stuff? It can even be the Steinmart on the other side of town (not our usual one), but you still remember and can express what you remember by using language. That's crazy.

Here is a snippet of conversation that you and I had earlier today, just before your naptime:

Setting: Mom & Dad's Bedroom, near the window

G: [pointing toward window] Bee! Bee!

M: [anxiety rising, spheksophobia setting in] WHERE?!?!?!?!!? IS IT IN THE HOUSE OR OUTSIDE? WHERE'S THE BROOM?!?!?

G: [pointing more seriously now] Bee! Bee! Owl.

M: [relieved after a quick once over of the room proves that no wasps have slipped past the duct-taped windows] Do you see a bee outside? Or an owl?

G: [violently pointing now] Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Bee.

M: [thoroughly confused] Can you say it again?

G: [pointing up now] Ish vow.

M: Oh, do you see the clouds?

G: Ish vow. Meow tee-tee.

M: Does Meow need to tee-tee?

G: heh heh heh. Meow. Tee-tee. Uh-oh. No-no-no.

M: [dismayed to find pee on the floor] USE THE POTTY! USE THE POTTY! USE THE POTTY!

See? It's all so clear now.

Another important thing that happened just recently is that Chris arrived! (Note to readers other than The Goose: Chris is a former student of B's from Flagstaff, AZ. He was in 4th grade when B taught him; now he's going into 8th.)

Chris is here!

Apparently you think that Chris is here for the sole purpose of entertaining you, because you live and breathe just to chase him around kicking at his heels. Tomorrow Chris starts the Junior Ranger program, and I hope you won't be too disappointed when he's not around the house all day making you laugh.


Goosey: Are you watching Chris? Are you seeing how he volunteers to do the dishes, says thank you for EVERYTHING, plays hard but knows when to be serious, wipes your mouth so you won't drip yogurt on the floor? Because if you could have some of those qualities when you're 13 then I would be just as proud as I can be.

Not that I'm not already proud of you just the way you are. But sometimes I get worried about raising you. I know that I can never be perfect, but you know I've gotta at least try my hardest. I want so many things for you ... just like every other parent wants for their kid. Except more, I swar. ("Swar" is like "swear," but more intense.)

Happy b-d Snickerdoo.



Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Visit of the Aunt & Cousin

Here they are ... they're not kissing (although there was some of that), but they are cousins!

I don't have anything to say (stop laughing), so I'm just posting pictures.

Teester, Husband, Nephew

Above, from L to R: My Teester, Husband, Nephew.

wash the babyTwo hot chicks give a baby a bath in the sink.

Bald, bald, not bald

Above, from R to L: A Diddums, A Sweetums, A Shnookums (Y'all please, DO NOT tell B that I called him a "Shnookums" on the world wide web).


I can't get enough of this baby. It almost makes me want another one. Almost.

Dirty Look

Yep, almost.

CHEESE!  What is Jack doing?

I love this one. What is Jack doing? What is Husband doing?

Well, as you can see, a good time was had by all. Click here for more.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Matching Outfits

Here they are ... on their way to Home Depot to sit on the lawnmowers.

Is it blurry? Can y'all see it good? If not, click it and maybe you can.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

The Case of Bubble v. Bubble

Dear Goosey:

It's not your birthday, but I just have to write and get something straight: Tonight, when we had that total misunderstanding about "bubbles in the bath" vs. "bubbles from a plastic container with a wand inside," I really was not trying to just trick you into going upstairs to get ready for bed. I swear.

All I said was, "Hey! Let's go upstairs and take a bubble bath!"

And all you said was, "Huhhhhh!!!!" which means, "yes" in Goosese.

So I was very confused when you went into the kitchen and pointed at the cupboard. And I thought that meant that you were hungry, so I gave you a whole grain organic apple-cinnamon cereal bar (which you devoured) and then I said it again, "Let's go take a bubble bath!"

And again you went to the cupboard.

So I gave you an organic blueberry poptart (don't ask about the breakfast food trend). But this was not acceptable. So I hauled you halfway upstairs -- kicking, screaming, bucking, snorting -- until I realized that this was not a tantrum, but rather a misunderstanding. Call it mother's intuition, but I just knew that you had some REASON for being so UNREASONABLE.

So we ventured, yet again, into the kitchen where I hoisted you up onto the counter and allowed you to just show me what it was that you wanted.

And of course you got out the bubbles. As in screw off the top, pull out the wand, and blow. Duh. If you wanna take a bubble bath then you have to have your bubbles which are stored in the cupboard right next to the Playdoh and the waffle iron (there's the breakfast theme again). Nevermind that you have taken numerous "bubble baths" without the wand-type bubbles.

I'm working so hard at trying to understand how your mind works. And what's fascinating to me -- language/grammar dork -- is that it seems to be changing as you learn language. As you acquire words for things, your worldview expands.

For example, you have now weaned yourself. After a long time of following the doctor's orders -- "don't wean between 16 and 20 months," "don't wean during flu season," "don't offer; don't refuse" -- I was beginning to think that I would have a nursing kindergartner. But you have now taken it upon yourself to wean, and I think it's a good decision on your part.

This happened right after you learned the word "baby." One night you were looking at a picture of a baby in a book and you said it. And then your dad and I started saying things like, "Only babies nurse -- big boys just give big hugs (and use cups)" or "Only babies poop in their diapers -- "big boys use the potty."

Bring Something To Do

And then one night when we were taking a non-wand-type bubble bath, you pointed at my chest and said, "No, no, no, no!!! Baby." And you haven't nursed since.

So I guess now I am no longer a milk cow. I may still be a cow. In fact, I'm starting to think that perhaps fatted cow is more appropriate -- as in someone is fattening me up for slaughter or something, because I cannot fit into my pants, but that's another story.

I was worried that if you weaned, I wouldn't have as much time holding you and that I'd miss that special bonding. However, you being the #1 Son that you are, have made up for it by creating a game called "night-night." It involves you draping your blanket over my chest, laying your head down there, and saying, "night, night" while allowing me to hold you for extended periods -- like, oh, say minutes on end. I was almost late for work today on account of this. Your dad was standing at the door, waiting on us to get in the car so y'all could drop me off. He was saying, "C'mon! We've gotta go!" But you and I were just rockin' in the La-Z-Boy.

Watching fireworks in the car

Rock on buddy.


#1 Mom (aka "FC")

Sunday, July 02, 2006

A New Family Member ...

Introducing "Meow," a $9.99 black and white Gund from Steinmart. Mama needed to find some navy shoes and somehow we came away with no shoes and a cat.

And can you say OBSESSED? Meow has to eat every meal. Meow has to go potty. Meow has to have goodnight kisses. And most importantly, Meow's name must be pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable. Not that we're particular.