Happy Birthday Buddy! 11 months ago you popped into our lives after two ounces of castor oil, several doses of Pitocin, six hours of contractions, and 45 minutes of 10-second pushes. And then we didn't sleep until just recently.
You are big and wild and even more kissable than ever. I think we would love you even if you weren't a Genius Future Olympian, but of course that isn't even worth writing, because, as everyone knows, you are a Genius Future Olympian.
I love everything about you. I love your teeth and your toenails and your grins and giggles. I even love your tantrums at 1:47 a.m. when it takes all of our combined strength to hold you down on the changing table so that you won't have to sleep in a poopy diaper anymore. I love your repeated attacks on the computer's on/off button and how you crawl furiously down the hall, hands pounding the carpet, laughing hysterically and stopping every few feet to look back and see if I'm chasing you.
Just recently your dad and I made out our wills. It was sad because I kept thinking, "What if something DOES happen to us -- we would miss all of this daily-multiplying love?" But then I thought about the vice versa situation of losing you and I had to just stop what-if'ing. Neither my heart nor my mind will let me go there. So now I try to just focus on the absolute gift of you: the antics, the hugs, the tears, the extraordinary love that plows through me every single day. At night, your dad and I talk about you just before going to sleep. We recount all the funny things you did throughout the day and say prayers of thanksgiving.
When I was a baby, my mama composed a little lullaby that she always sang when I needed it. I sing the same one to you, but I had to change some of the words. It goes like this ...
Bye-ba-bye-bye baby Johnny,
Bye-ba-bye-bye baby boy.
Go to sleepy, mama's baby,
Mommy's little pride and joy.
Mommy loves her baby Goosey,
Mommy loves her Goosey Guy.
Bye-ba-bye-bye baby Johnny
Bye-ba-bye-ba-bye-ba-bye.
Usually it works to get you to sleep and always it works to remind me of the sweet love between parents and children. The love I never understood until you. The kind of love that is so globally common and yet so individually uncommon. I almost can't believe the world still has so many problems since it's also filled with billions of cases of this love.
When we were in the post office the other day, this little old lady was admiring you and saying, "You're just the sweetest thing in the world, ain't nothin' sweeter." She kept saying it over and over. And then she looked at me and said, "I have no idea why I came in here." That's kinda how my life is now. You ARE the sweetest thing in the world, and I can never remember anything. And I LOVE it.
Happy Almost-A-Year little guy.
Love,
Mama
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