Wednesday, February 23, 2011
To My Little
Happy 15 month birthday, Bam! I started this 3 months ago on your first birthday. I poured over what to write. For three months I have tried to figure out how to put it all into words. I never figured it out. I never even got close. Finding words to express one year (and 3 months) of you will just have to go on my bucket list.
When you were born, I knew that you were Sweet Sam. John-John & your dad gave you the Wesley part, but I always knew I'd have a Sam.
And you haven't fussed, Little. You have always been content with yourself and the world around you. We could all use a little more of your demeanor in our lives.
And so with that in mind, I am trying to be content with the fact that I can't make this letter cohesive. I can't bring it all together and trim it with some song lyrics. It doesn't have a motif. It isn't what I dreamed it would be. It isn't what you deserve.
But please know that I tried! I tried to generate ideas with all the usual methods ... brainstorming, listing, cluster diagrams, etc. But each time it just ended up being a completely disorganized bundle of information. And I cannot bear disorganized writing.
Plus, how could I possibly remember everything that I want to remember about your first year (and 3 months)? How can all those emotions be put into a stinkin' blog letter?
And so it has come to this: Going through the alphabet. Instead of trying to put 15 months of memories & feelings into a letter, I have decided to make a little encyclopedia of YOU: I call it,
"A to Z about Sam B"
applesauce: The day you discovered how to drink it out of the container was a great day indeed.
books: I love that you love them! You are crazy about Goodnight Moon, Brown Bear, Brown Bear, Richard Scary's Cars & Trucks in Busytown, & Goodnight Gorilla
buses & balls: It took me awhile, but I finally figured out the difference between "bah" (ball) and "buh" (bus)
chairs: You love chairs -- small, large, rockers, plain ones. You sit in them, climb on them, push them around the dining room.
climbing: Quit doing it. You're giving me a heart attack.
Da-Da: There's no doubt who's your favorite parent. I cease to exist when he walks through the door. It's why I haven't weaned you.
elephants: The noise they make. Purse your lips together and blow out. Gets you every time.
family: you make ours complete.
Good grief quit climbing on everything.
head: please don't bonk yours anymore (see "G" above)
hugs: You give 'em out freely. But mostly to your Da-Da.
ice cream: And lots of it. And shove it as fast as possible into your mouth. Chocolate.
John-John: Oh how you love your big brother. As soon as we turn onto the street where his school is located, you start saying it: Jah-Jah!
kites: in preparation for Windy March, you and your brother have recently been trying to fly a kite in our neighbor's backyard. You let go, much to his dismay.
kisses: open mouthed right on my cheek. I would never dream of wiping it off even if there's hummus involved.
Little Bitty: Sometimes I call you this, or Bitty Little; or sometimes I say, "Him's little, but him's gettin' lots bigger!" It's not even ridiculous.
macaroni & cheese: we just thought John-John liked it. You LOVE it.
moon: you love to find the moon on your ceiling (it's an image reflected by your sound machine)
night-night: you love your bed -- for naps or at night
owl: all who know Sam have seen the point and heard the "OWL!" as you point to various owls around our house
planes: when you hear them, you run out from under the porch so you can scan the sky, making the zoom noise all the while.
Quit climbing on everything (see "G" and "H" above)
run: try as you may, your little legs haven't quite figured it out yet. Here's a tip: Bend your knees a little bit.
Swee Sam: I made up a lullaby for you (it fits to the tune of "Past Life Melodies" by Sarah Hopkins). It goes like this: Sweet Sam / How I love you little lamb / In dreams there's peace / Close your eyes and sleep ... Sweet Sam / Stars shine on you, Sam I Am / Find peace in your dreams / Close your eyes and sleep ...
telephone: If it rings, you jump up from what you're doing and run to find it. If you see one -- especially a cell phone, you writhe and contort your body in an attempt to reach it. Sometimes I give you mine. I like to watch you concentrate on it, stick out your tongue, purse your lips, furrow your brows. You so want to text someone.
uninterested: in TV. You won't even look at it. Push the buttons, yes, but watch it, no.
Very sweet, you are.
Wesley: As I noted earlier, your dad and brother came up with this part of your name. Sometimes I call you "W" or just "Dub."
xilinous are your cheeks and hair. Look it up.
You, I love.
Zoom. But not too fast, my sweet.
I love you love you love you,
at 8:32 PM