Wednesday, February 23, 2011

To My Little

Dear Sam,

Happy 15 month birthday, Bam!  I started this 3 months ago on your first birthday.  I poured over what to write. For three months I have tried to figure out how to put it all into words. I never figured it out. I never even got close. Finding words to express one year (and 3 months) of you will just have to go on my bucket list.


When you were born, I knew that you were Sweet Sam.  John-John & your dad gave you the Wesley part, but I always knew I'd have a Sam. 

I thought you'd be fatter though. (I also thought I'd be skinnier.)  As John-John would say, "You get what you get, and you don't fuss a bit."


And you haven't fussed, Little.  You have always been content with yourself and the world around you.  We could all use a little more of your demeanor in our lives.


And so with that in mind, I am trying to be content with the fact that I can't make this letter cohesive.  I can't bring it all together and trim it with some song lyrics.  It doesn't have a motif.  It isn't what I dreamed it would be.  It isn't what you deserve. 


But please know that I tried!  I tried to generate ideas with all the usual methods ... brainstorming, listing, cluster diagrams, etc. But each time it just ended up being a completely disorganized bundle of information. And I cannot bear disorganized writing.


Plus, how could I possibly remember everything that I want to remember about your first year (and 3 months)?  How can all those emotions be put into a stinkin' blog letter?


And so it has come to this:  Going through the alphabet.  Instead of trying to put 15 months of memories & feelings into a letter, I have decided to make a little encyclopedia of YOU: I call it,


"A to Z about Sam B"


A
applesauce:  The day you discovered how to drink it out of the container was a great day indeed.

B
books:  I love that you love them!  You are crazy about Goodnight Moon, Brown Bear, Brown Bear, Richard Scary's Cars & Trucks in Busytown, & Goodnight Gorilla
buses & balls:  It took me awhile, but I finally figured out the difference between "bah" (ball) and "buh" (bus)

C
chairs:  You love chairs -- small, large, rockers, plain ones.  You sit in them, climb on them, push them around the dining room.
climbing:  Quit doing it.  You're giving me a heart attack.

D
Da-Da:  There's no doubt who's your favorite parent.  I cease to exist when he walks through the door.  It's why I haven't weaned you. 

E
elephants:  The noise they make.  Purse your lips together and blow out.  Gets you every time.

F
family: you make ours complete.

G
Good grief quit climbing on everything.

H
head:  please don't bonk yours anymore (see "G" above)
hugs:  You give 'em out freely.  But mostly to your Da-Da.

I
ice cream:  And lots of it.  And shove it as fast as possible into your mouth.  Chocolate.

J
John-John:  Oh how you love your big brother.  As soon as we turn onto the street where his school is located, you start saying it:  Jah-Jah!

K
kites:  in preparation for Windy March, you and your brother have recently been trying to fly a kite in our neighbor's backyard.   You let go, much to his dismay.
kisses:  open mouthed right on my cheek.  I would never dream of wiping it off even if there's hummus involved.

L
Little Bitty:  Sometimes I call you this, or Bitty Little; or sometimes I say, "Him's little, but him's gettin' lots bigger!"  It's not even ridiculous.

M
macaroni & cheese: we just thought John-John liked it.  You LOVE it.
moon:  you love to find the moon on your ceiling (it's an image reflected by your sound machine)

N
night-night:  you love your bed -- for naps or at night

O
owl:  all who know Sam have seen the point and heard the "OWL!" as you point to various owls around our house

P
planes:  when you hear them, you run out from under the porch so you can scan the sky, making the zoom noise all the while.

Q
Quit climbing on everything (see "G" and "H" above)

R
run: try as you may, your little legs haven't quite figured it out yet.  Here's a tip: Bend your knees a little bit.

S
Swee Sam:  I made up a lullaby for you (it fits to the tune of "Past Life Melodies" by Sarah Hopkins).  It goes like this:  Sweet Sam / How I love you little lamb / In dreams there's peace / Close your eyes and sleep ... Sweet Sam / Stars shine on you, Sam I Am / Find peace in your dreams / Close your eyes and sleep ...

T
telephone:  If it rings, you jump up from what you're doing and run to find it.  If you see one -- especially a cell phone, you writhe and contort your body in an attempt to reach it.  Sometimes I give you mine.  I like to watch you concentrate on it, stick out your tongue, purse your lips, furrow your brows.  You so want to text someone.

U
uninterested:  in TV.  You won't even look at it.  Push the buttons, yes, but watch it, no.

V
Very sweet, you are.

W
Wesley:  As I noted earlier, your dad and brother came up with this part of your name.  Sometimes I call you "W" or just "Dub."

X
xilinous are your cheeks and hair.  Look it up.

Y
You, I love.

Z
Zoom.  But not too fast, my sweet.


I love you love you love you,
Mama
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