Dear Sam:

Management regrets to inform you that a surcharge will be applied to your bill for services rendered after CHILDREN SHOULD BE ASLEEP TIME.  Unfortunately, this extra fee is not due to some higher calling such as ManagementNeedsToUnloadTheDishwasherAGAIN (thank you very much Mr. Bosch and your lovely 22-year old serviceman who happily came to our home just before Christmas and was dismayed to find management sound asleep on the couch, and later in a precarious nursing position which caused some awkardness, nevermind that he should've stayed in the kitchen, content to holler back and forth with the adult in charge of the home), but rather, is caused by Management's need to procrastinate various household chores by viewing inane reality TV shows, updating Facebook, and reading the same novels repeatedly by candlelight in a bathtub full of lavender-scented Epsom Salt.

Please understand that we continue to hold  your needs in the highest regard and of course enjoy our daily service to you.  We only have your interests in mind, and feel that this additional charge reflects the desire of our workers to increase their productivity during peak hours of customer need.  There are other customers, you know.

Thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

Your Committed Management Team