an interesting piece written by a Jesuit priest who believes that any photo other than that of Jesus, Mary, & Joseph is inappropriate. In the article, he wonders, “Doesn't it strike you as weird to set aside the Holy Family in favor of your family? Does a photo of Cabo San Lucas trump the story told by the original San Lucas? Is Christmas really about you?”At first I was sort of aghast at this sentiment, but on second thought I agree that photo cards could be viewed as another step in the WRONG direction for a holiday that has long been on a mudslide. But I LOVE getting the photos from all of my friends and family (even the bad ones -- see below), so I must assume the same is true for the people to whom I send cards. So next year, expect a traditional card with a photo stuck inside, per Rev. Martin's suggestion.
Side Note: The reason that I have to write all of this in the middle of the busiest time of the year is because I got some sort of 24 hour flu-like thing and we had to change all of our holiday travel plans. It could definitely be worse, but it seems that I get an inordinate amount of upper respiratory infections, which Dr. Google says is not an indicator of a dysfunctional immune system (but might be Lyme disease).
And now back to the topic of holiday cards. I have to tell y'all about this year's winner of the Worst Holiday Card Contest, which is further evidence of why we should not be replacing the baby Jesus with our own babies.
So, every year I have a contest (on my refrigerator) to see who sends the cheesiest and/or just plain worst card. One year someone we know sent a photo card in which everyone in the family -- adults and children alike -- was dressed in red and green polka dot footey pajamas. After that, a tradition was born. Don't worry ... any of you who read this blog are automatically disqualified from the contest.
Last year nothing came through, but this year, there was a card so good that I feel like setting aside the contest for a couple years. Actually this card was sent to my neighbors, so I'm relatively sure that there is no way I can offend anyone publicly by describing this card here.
The picture was mostly black and white and in the center it had a small child dressed in red with a red bow in her hair (the dress and bow were not in b&w, obviously) sucking her thumb, rubbing her ear, and leaning against a hugely pregnant woman whose entire abdomen was exposed. The area below her abdomen was wrapped a green tarp, and above it was a bikini top (also made out of green tarp). There was no head on this belly, just the expansive bump wrapped in tarp (there was also a good amount of breast and armpit showing, just to clarify further).
But, oddly enough, that picture alone didn't seal the deal. It was the caption that actually won the contest for this family, for this photo card had not only a title, but TWO subtitles. It read, "Primary Colors: A Seasonal Portrait by the C Family ... in red, green, and blue." Below that it had their names, parents' names written in green (like the tarp), little girl's name in red, and then the name of the bump -- in blue (it's a boy, for those of you who aren't as quick).
Y'all: I could not stop laughing about this photo card. Especially after Brian pointed out the fact that the expectant mother looked vaguely like the headless statue of a mermaid wrapped in visqueen.
And then it occurred to me: GREEN IS NOT A PRIMARY COLOR. And anybody who has seen a ziploc bag commercial knows that ("yellow and blue make green -- it's EASY!"). Not that any of this matters, but when you send out a card with a professionally made, half-nude photo that has two subtitles, then you should at least get your colors straight.
And THAT is what made me change my mind and agree with the Right Reverend. Maybe our families should not replace the original Christmas family -- for a lot of different reasons, but especially if our families are scantily clothed in visqueen.
Happy Christmas everyone!
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