When the Paternals "dropped by" (from Milwaukee) and Other Tales

I love Nanny's twisted-up kiss and the Goose's expression. This one's a keeper.

Another cute one:

(Notice, dear reader, the lovely black dishwasher in the background, which hasn't worked in two years but has lately decided to engage in a charming little ritual wherein a terrific sulfurous odor wafts from the area just before your feet get soaked from the flooding. Not that I would ever complain about a free house!)

And of course there's Grampy:

And one thing the Paternal Grandfather learned on this visit was all about chigger season. Today I went to Target with the express purpose of purchasing the strongest chemical on the market in order to protect my family. Some people keep guns. We keep deet (and guns). It’s really too bad that you can’t just shoot a chigger (or a chigger colony). I definitely believe that the founding fathers would’ve considered that to be part of my 2nd amendment rights. The horrendous beasts have caused John to look like he has the chicken pox and sometimes I have to excuse myself from class to go to the restroom and scratch. Because you know where chiggers get.

Somebody just called Delilah to report that she has seven teenagers living in the same house with her and her 3rd husband. Y’all pray for them.

I am teaching again (online) for the Center for Talented Youth at the Johns Hopkins University ... an enrichment program for ubersmarty middle schoolers from the Northeast (e.g., Connecticut, Home of Frenchy aka Wannabedean – so typical). There are also some Californians and – this semester – someone in Taiwan. It’s not clear that he’s Taiwanese though … his mom emailed me to say that although they're currently in Taipei, they will be in India next week, so please note the time difference (presumably, in case I need to call her about any pressing issues with her son’s analysis of prepositions functioning as adverbials of time/place/reason, and why they are so common). I always get such a kick out of this job. My primary place of employment cuts back our contact hours in the summer, so I’m doing this to keep my income relatively stable so that John can attend preschool and I can still buy ridiculous amounts of eye make-up and Burt’s Bees colored lip gloss. Don’t tell Dave.

What's that? You want to know about the other members of the family … well, besides the chorus of scratching, The Husband has become increasingly allergic to something in the air here and is on steroids, and The Goose has become obsessed with Hansel & Gretel. Try explaining the concept of oral tradition (folk tales) to an authorial-obsessed 2.75 year old ... "Who is wrote this book, Mama?" I have created a monster. And nevermind the part of the story where, as The Goose says, “the little girl push the big girl in a oven and the big girl put out smoke.” What do we make of that? What does HE make of that? I don’t know, but we saw it live (with puppets) at our supercool downtown library where there is a PUPPET THEATER (complete with fancy lights and curtains and real smoke and marionettes and hand puppets and bunraku experts and everything). We are also interested in The Stonecutter, which is currently playing in said theater. Here we are in all of our authorless glory:

And one other tidbit about the Hansel and Gretel phase. When I was first considering taking him to the puppet show several weeks ago, I called the library to inquire about why it was listed as "School Age Event" on their website. The librarian who answered said this: "Well, it's Hansel and Gretel, so there are children in peril. I think you can judge for yourself about the extent to which this sort of scenario might affect your own child." Touché! And considering that he overlooked the horrific mother, the theme of child abandonment, and the issue of "the big girl" (aka The Witch) wanting to eat Hansel, I'd say he's not an overly sensitive child. But all words spoken or written shall, at some future time, be eaten, so let's leave it at that.

In other news ...

Things are GROWING!

Zinnias and basil:

Sunflowers:

And coneflowers (echinacea):

I'm not sure why fertilizer is ever needed since composting is SO easy and effective, but don't even get me started on agriculture. I'm reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by, my favorite, Barbara Kingsolver. 'Bout time she got back to work.

And now I must go and do some more analysis of grammar exercises too difficult for the average college freshman, but clearly cake for a certain set of 13 year olds.

As The Goose says (ship or no ship) ...

BON VOYAGE!