Coop Maintenance with a Green Bib

Coop Maintenance
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.

Since I'll be dosed up on valium tomorrow night (Thursday), I thought I should post a little early. I don't really have anything to say except please God do not let that laser react to my Paul Mitchell Tea Tree shampoo and blind me.

At my last ophthalmologist visit, they sent me home with directions to the surgery center and a pre-op to-do list: Bathe using only unscented soaps/shampoos and then go totally un-face-creamed, sans lipstick, hairspray, and jewelry ... and don't even think about wearing any Almay's "Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue?" eyeliner, shadow, or mascara. There was a disclaimer at the bottom about how perfume could invoke irreparable corneal damage. Apparently the laser is ultra-sensitive to all cosmetic products.

After going over this with me, they gave me a little pep talk about how it's really not all that bad to go without make-up for a day or so and how even though your eyes are really dry for the first few days afterwards, most women think having to go without make-up is the worst part. They don't have to worry about me ... I've been wearing these glasses for nearly two solid months now and so I haven't bothered to gloss up my wands in weeks. The face cream is another story. I'm not sure I can go a day without my Estee Lauder Future Perfect moisturizing lotion. I love it because it has SPF, it doesn't sting, and its name is the same as a verb tense. Y'all know I love me some cosmetics and grammar.

Anyway ...

The Goose is into picking out and wearing bibs. As many as possible at the same time. In the picture above, he is sporting one of his favorites, a lime green terry cloth gem with a big circular blueberry stain on the right lower chest area. Usually he likes to layer a lime green and orange terry over that plain green one, and then top it all off with a Nana-made duck bib. But tonight he was making a statement in simplicity.

His new word is "teedot," which we first thought was his pronunciation of the acronym for the TN Dept of Transportation, but upon re-analysis, it seems to mean "turtle." Or possibly "Look, there's an indigo bunting at the feeder out back."

Also today he pointed at the Papa Goose and said, "Dah-dah"! Brilliance abounds, even though he calls everything "Dah-dah," including 18-wheelers, skid steer loaders, and apple juice. He has been saying "Mama" more lately ... particularly when he notices something that he knows is one of "Mama's special toys" (as in "No, no, don't touch ... that's one of Mama's special toys ... look, here's a half-empty ketchup bottle for you to suck on.") His teacher told me that "redirecting" might be the best disciplinary tactic at this point. Funny how often that involves ketchup. So when he sees something that he knows is mine, he points at it and says, “Mama.”

Well, enough rambling. Wish me luck tomorrow. I'm popping the valium at noon and then they're slicing off a flap of my eye, rearranging some stuff, and then gently laying the flap back down. Apparently it takes about 36 seconds per eye, but let's not underestimate the fact that the phrase "eye flap" is involved and I have been having "I'm going blind" dreams since I was old enough to remember. When the valium wears off, I'll post again.

Hopefully.

And just to end on a good note, Teester & Baby Jack are doing GREAT and he is eating/sleeping like a champ and we are trying to figure out how to get out there to see that little dumpling. A cousin! Imagine that.