Because red hair.

A Treatise Against The Pointing Out of Reddish Hair

Several times a year, someone points out to me some aspect of the underlying red nature of my hair.  And it is never positive.  (It’s also usually not overtly negative, but hear a girl out.) 

Today someone I had just met said, “I like to meet redheads. My wife is a redhead.”

Cue the angels’ harmonic, “Ahhhhhhh!!”

Because most times.

(Note:  Today I read an article about how the word “because” is becoming prepositional and is often followed by nouns.  Only nouns.  Because evolution.)

Most times the recognition of red hints in my hair is at least indirectly negative.

And of course I’m sure, quite sure, that these sayers of hurtful half thoughts are well meaning.

Because human nature.

However.

My ears change good intentions (or at least not-well-thought-out intentions) into accusations.

Because Kimberly.

Here are a few examples:

At the closing on my first home, previous owner says, “Oh no.  Another redhead in that house.”

At work:  “Did you know that your hair gets redder when you’re fired up?”

At department store:  “I know you probably think you’re pale, but the reddish hair makes up for it.”

Newsflash:  If I am truly redheaded, then Miley Cyrus is only a mildly toxic role model for young girls.

Because y’all.

You would never say to someone with gray hair:  “Oh no, another geriatric in the house.”

So, can we please stop the discrimination against angry, temperamental redheads?

Because fairness.

Because if you don’t have something nice to say.

Because fear (of redheaded retaliation).

Because there.

Because I’m done.

Because as you were and onward and upward and sideways and all that.