Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Weird is Relative (or relatives, depending on your family)

After IGBOK (see previous post), I want this as my next bumper sticker:






Case in point:

Today I went for my usual hike with the Bambino Brigade and then decided that a trip to Whole Foods was a must. We were totally out of colloidal silver for crying out loud and I haven’t had any Arctic cod liver oil in I don’t know how long. Maybe since I was pregnant. Unheard of.

But first I had to go to the restroom, and as I was washing my hands, the woman next to me said, “I know this is weird, but I just bought this deodorant and I really needed some. It’s weird isn’t it?”

I just looked at her, but she pressed on: “I know you think it’s totally weird, but it’s better than stinking. Right?”

And what I wanted to say was, “Yesterday my five-year old pooped in the neighbor’s backyard just before they hosted an outdoor party, and earlier today I hiked with a woman who had her placenta freeze dried and encapsulated into 60 ingestible tablets because her doula told her it would ward off post-partum depression. Are you seriously asking me if applying deodorant in the bathroom is WEIRD?”

But of course, that’s not what I said. Instead, I went with, “You gotta do watcha gotta do in times of water shortage.”

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And now, onto more important matters … namely, the scary children:

Here is a video of J and S in Mississippi (yes, I took the jumper seat).

Here’s one with John-John telling knock-knock jokes.

Another one ... brudderly love.

And fourthly, we have John-John and a choir of stuffed animals singing that classic children’s song, “I Kicked My Ball into a Gated Community.”

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Now, is anybody else disturbed by the fabric pictured below?  I stumbled upon these guys while perusing the Christmas section of the most recent Hancock's of Paducah fabric catalog.  I went to college with Amanda Hancock, and I'm just not sure her people know about this.


As you were.


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2 comments:

Basha's Mama said...

Now I will have, "I kicked my ball! I kicked my ball! Into the Gated Community" in my head all day long. :)
Frozen placenta v. deodorant yeah no contest and more than a little gross.
Fabric? Who knew gays and cougars had their own line of kitsch patterns. *HA*

randasfans said...

That fabric is amazing; I need a quilt! Though, I suppose I would settle for a pillow sham. Seriously, I may have to order.