In other news, I am ready for Spring Break.
In Goosenews, one word: VOLCANOES. It all started with a dinosaur book that suggested dinosaurs may have disappeared from earth because of volcanic eruptions. Now, we discuss lava everyday.
In Kimmynews: Am I starting to vaguely resemble a platypus?
So we went to the library today in search of a (not long) book about volcanoes. And Mama made the mistake of walking through the Kids' Videos section first.
So, I'm looking for a volcano video, and Goose is looking for a "Max & Ruby Talk about Volcanoes" video. And he does find a Max & Ruby video. But then this other Big Boy who is there with his mom decides that what he really came for is Max & Ruby. And Big Boy happens to be a Snatcher.
Lots of drama ensues. It's that kind of drama where you think you're gonna be dealing with a Helicopter Mom, but really you are faced with someone who, like you, really just HATES crying. She hates it so much, you discover, that she will stand by mumbling euphemisms, like, "That's not nice, Aaron. We share." She's mumbling, yet she knows that she's not going to do a single thing about the injustice because more than anything: SHE HATES CRYING.
Now, I have to admit: I hate crying too. I nursed my child for 22 months largely because I really just wanted him to shut up and not get ear infections (Hello breastmilk enzymes? Ever hear of asthma? Yeah. Much worse than ear infections! Thanks for NOTHING!). But y'all, this woman, this Other Mother, hates crying so much that she stood there and did nothing while my kid went from tattletale mode to full-on crisis: Bemoaning in disbelief: "HE JERKED THE VIDEO OUT OF MY HAND! MOM! THAT WASN'T NICE AT ALL! HE'S NOT USING HIS MANNERS! HE'S NOT SHARING! HE'S NOT FOLLOWING THE GOLDEN RULE!" And all other manner of goody-two-shoes commentary.
Which, normally, you are just proud of.
But when the Other Mother just, um, Lets. It. Happen., you tend to lose sight of the teachable moment and you start embracing thoughts more akin to revenge.
But of course at the same time, you have your own kid's crying to deal with. Not just crying. Really loudawfulmistreated CRYING crying. The kind that takes more than just a kiss to relieve. The kind that is making the Magazine Readers put down their periodicals and glare.
So you retreat to the Kids Section, where hysterical crying isn't allowed, per se, but is at least better understood. Which is all you really need, right? Just a little love and understanding, right?
Wrong.
You need an ape tranquilizer.
You search your purse. None there.
Gum? Does he want gum? Really "special" gum that is really really good?
NO! He wants that Max & Ruby video which was unjustly yanked from his grasp and taken by a kid who with a mom who hates crying EVEN MORE THAN YOU DO. (Which is hard to believe. Wow. She REALLY hates crying.)
Finally, you succumb to it all and just hold him and let him cry. And things start to get better.
And then, you find a (not long) book about the wonders of volcanic ash.
And all is well.
And the moral of the story is that you can go to the library without ape tranquilizer and still emerge unscathed. Or something like that.
I think I just sprouted some gray hairs.
Good night.
2 comments:
You're a much better person than I would have been in that situation. I might have taken the mom out or at least given her a verbal lashing about her parenting skills. Of course I'm overloaded on IUD hormones right now that tend to make me more b*tchy than normal. :) Congrats on surviving and being the better person. :)
Oh, poor john. I wish my husband had been with you. He would have had no problem yanking the video back from the wussy-mom's child and giving it back to John. Well - I may be exaggerating, but he does seem to find a (usually) appropriate way to deal with other people's kids. We like volcanoes around here too. And Max and Ruby.
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