The Easter Bunny Came ...

And went. And left this beg mess. I think he was a titch disappointed that there weren't any tractors in the Easter basket. Oh well, better luck next year, buddy. Maybe Mama will remember to put a basket together in advance rather than THE DAY BEFORE WHEN EVERYTHING IS SOLD OUT AT TARGET INCLUDING THOSE REALLY COOL BOB THE BUILDER MACHINES PULLING TRAILERS FULL OF EASTER EGGS. It doesn't matter though. That's not what Easter's about.

What it's really about is those deliciously crunchy PLAIN pastel-colored M&Ms which come in five-pound bags and which are bought solely for the receiver of the Easter basket. Not his parents.

Kidding!

(Sorta.)

Let's see ... what else?

Well, there was the night that we did a show about table manners:

The Goose is using a left-handed bamboo spatula to clean his plate. The Dad is using his tongue. Why should I even mention the elbows-on-the-table rule when there are such awful atrocities as these?

And then there was the night that I thought it might be a good idea to eat spaghetti with bison and green peas in the living room while using the laundry hamper as a table and a towel-covered couch cushion as a chair.

Not a good idea in the end, but it was fun.

Today as I watched him push Mavis the Diesel Engine (who was pulling a troublesome truck) up and down my forearm I was wondering how to divide his days ... I think it's something like this in a 24-hour period:

55% Sleeping

15% Reading

15% Truck/Train/Tractor Pushing (we like "t-r-" words)

5% Asking Rhetorical and/or Self-Answerable Questions (e.g., "Where's the smoke ateckor? Is downstairs; makes a noise. Where's the carbon moxide 'teckor? Is upstairs. Was it a loud noise or a scary noise? Not scary, just loud. Where's the boy? (ME: What boy?) The boy at the paygound? (ME: I don't know John. Where IS the boy?) Probly at home watching veejos (videos)." ET CETERA

5% Making Announcements & Proclamations (e.g., "Don't do dat Mama. You know better than that! ... Look, man! My kitty! (in Target to the check-out person) ... "I tee-teed." (outside Target, to a woman walking by in the parking lot while we were trying to be discrete). "I pooped a big log. Foo Foo the Snoo pooped on the concrete." (to no one in particular) ET CETERA

5% Eating

Give or take.

The smoke and carbon moxide ateckors could be in a category all their own considering their recent appeal. One night we even thanked God for Jasmine rice and smoke ateckors.

I think that's all. I'm not good at conclusions. I stress them in my classes -- "Conclusions are for summarizing! Restating! Leaving the reader with a final thought and signalling that yes, indeed, the author is definitely finished. Don't make them boring!"

The end.