John, do you wanna say the blessing tonight?
"God the father. Apple cider. School pictures. Fire. AMEN! Hooray! Muscles!"
And thus the food was blessed. Normally he thanks God only for apple cider and Seiya and Mana (his, um, I think two-time Japanese babysitters, who asked--at their last visit--if they had to stay before we went out bowling one night). Yes, you have to actually stay when you are babysitting. Anyway, tonight we were astonished to discover several other personality traits from his prayers: narcissism, pyromania, and a predisposition for steroid use.
And maybe I’m pushing him too hard, but I really think that he is showing lots of promise as a linguist. He is able not only to understand but also talk about the difference between singular and plural (and possibly even count and noncount nouns). For example, the other day we were reading The Water Hole by Graeme Base and when we got to the part about the moose around the water hole, I said, “Hey, what’s the plural of ‘moose’?”
His reply: “Orange.”
In other news, next week is my spring break (but not the Goose’s) … can you say
V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N ? ! ? !
We’ve got a fun-filled week planned: Frenchy over the weekend, a visit to a waterfall on Monday, a dentist appointment (yes, even after two root canals you still have to go back twice a year and give them more of your hard-earned money), picking up school pictures, grading papers, and researching preschools because we have already missed about 62 application deadlines. He won’t ever get into Harvard at this rate.
So today I looked into a prestigious parochial school where they have these cute plaid uniforms (a plus!) and they actually had an early admittance timeline, a placement-test date, and various other mark-your-calendar events such as when the acceptance letters went out: acceptance letters for children of siblings (late January), acceptance letters for non-sibling children (late February), and acceptance letters for commoners (late March). The fee for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. = $7,988 for the academic year.
Right.
We, apparently, are not even commoners, so it's a mute point. And anyway, there’s nothing wrong with his current setup, unless Mama gets a full-time gig for the fall, and then we may need some longer hours. Plus, he’ll be three in September, and his current school doesn’t have a music or foreign language program and that bothers me. However, it appears that having a monolingual, tone-deaf child can save you about $5,828 per year, and who can say that's not totally worth it?
In other news …
Today we spent the afternoon with Rachel, a four-year-old folding & chopping expert.
I told them to stand side-by-side and say cheese ...
Rachel was able to provide some much-needed instruction in folding various items -- including shirts ...
and blue blankies ...
She can also chop broccoli like nobody’s business. With her help, I was able to prepare an entire delicious, low-fat meal of vegetable-tofu stir-fry with peanuts while The Goose napped. When he awakened, they played kitty cats for some time while I did various household tasks (note to self: siblings can’t be all that bad even though there are none in his future. NONE. I don't have even one iota of a baby bug (unlike these people: braver-than-me #1 and braver-than-me #2)). And NEWFLASH! There’s nothing wrong with Only Children. We are all perfectly well-adjusted individuals who adore sharing and tend to be successful (and usually cute).
I'll leave you with a lesson in how to drink Odwalla Superfood:
First, hold up the bottle and show everyone how proud you are to be drinking a combination of apple juice, peach, mango, wheat & barley grass, spirulina, soy lecithin, and Jerusalem artichokes ...
Next, take a big ol' swig ...
Finally, smile big and say, "Got Superfood?"
2 comments:
There are some things I must address. First, I don't recall you ever bowling. Second, Superfood must not be sold in Newton, MS, because I don't think we have Jerusalem artichokes or that soy stuff. Third, please tell me you did not put a dance recital picture on you flickr page. I'm sure I was dreaming that. I love the goose, by the way.
First, I am an avid bowler, thank you very much ... and Brian even has his own bowling shirt that is monogrammed (not with his own name, but still).
Second, Superfood may not be sold in Newton, but I'm sure that almost every processed product you buy has soy lecithin in it ... check the label. Soy is everywhere.
Third, I did put up a dance recital picture and it wasn't even a cute one.
I'm a brazen woman these days, you probably wouldn't recognize me.
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