Playing Horsey

And the horse BITES.

It all started so innocently.


And even in the middle it seemed fun.


But then it turned ugly.


Although it ended well.


And just for the record, eating massive amounts of white bread toast covered with melted shredded cheese and butter does not constitute having an "I'm Turning 30 in Two Months" crisis. I probably just needed the calcium.

In other news ...

I just came back downstairs from checking on a good deal of upper-level thumping and bumping. I walked in and said, "What's wrong, Bo-bo?" (short for Johnbo or Bobie or something similar).

He said, "I pooped."

Shocker.

I said, "OK, go lie down on the changing mat."

He did.

I gave him my pretty green hairpiece to play with (since the alternative is digging out poop from under his fingernails).

I peeled off the Kroger-brand nightpants, wiped him up, and declared it "all done" -- our favorite phrase of late.

He looked at me, as I was re-inserting feet into dinosaur-covered footy pajamas and zipping up. That look. He said, "A big one?"

"Nope, just medium, Bobo."

And then he returned to the Big Boy Bed and closed his eyes.

Welcome to ten o'clock at our house. Every. Night.

Why is #2 in the potty so difficult to understand? I don't get it. But let me tell you a little secret about soaking out poop stains in Spiderman underwear ...

If you buy those Clorox Drop-Ins for your toilet, then you're all set. Just drop one in as usual and flush away. And whenever your toddler has a Level Two Accident then simply scoop out the Easily Removable Portion, flush, and then follow these steps:

1. Drop in the underwear (crotch first) and let it soak for a little while.
2. Don your yellow rubber gloves.
3. Provide a little rub action to the stained area.
4. Remove from the toilet.
5. Apply an appropriate amount of Shout Out.
6. Deposit the Level Two haz mat into your nearest dirty clothes hamper.
7. Wash as usual with your Dermatologist Recommended Dye-Free, Hypo-Allergenic ALL detergent.

Easy as pie.

Happy Thursday.