Dear Sam,
Happy 15 month birthday, Bam! I started this 3 months ago on your first birthday. I poured over what to write. For three months I have tried to figure out how to put it all into words. I never figured it out. I never even got close. Finding words to express one year (and 3 months) of you will just have to go on my bucket list.
When you were born, I knew that you were Sweet Sam. John-John & your dad gave you the Wesley part, but I always knew I'd have a Sam.
And you haven't fussed, Little. You have always been content with yourself and the world around you. We could all use a little more of your demeanor in our lives.
And so with that in mind, I am trying to be content with the fact that I can't make this letter cohesive. I can't bring it all together and trim it with some song lyrics. It doesn't have a motif. It isn't what I dreamed it would be. It isn't what you deserve.
But please know that I tried! I tried to generate ideas with all the usual methods ... brainstorming, listing, cluster diagrams, etc. But each time it just ended up being a completely disorganized bundle of information. And I cannot bear disorganized writing.
Plus, how could I possibly remember everything that I want to remember about your first year (and 3 months)? How can all those emotions be put into a stinkin' blog letter?
And so it has come to this: Going through the alphabet. Instead of trying to put 15 months of memories & feelings into a letter, I have decided to make a little encyclopedia of YOU: I call it,
"A to Z about Sam B"
A
applesauce: The day you discovered how to drink it out of the container was a great day indeed.
B
books: I love that you love them! You are crazy about Goodnight Moon, Brown Bear, Brown Bear, Richard Scary's Cars & Trucks in Busytown, & Goodnight Gorilla
buses & balls: It took me awhile, but I finally figured out the difference between "bah" (ball) and "buh" (bus)
C
chairs: You love chairs -- small, large, rockers, plain ones. You sit in them, climb on them, push them around the dining room.
climbing: Quit doing it. You're giving me a heart attack.
D
Da-Da: There's no doubt who's your favorite parent. I cease to exist when he walks through the door. It's why I haven't weaned you.
E
elephants: The noise they make. Purse your lips together and blow out. Gets you every time.
F
family: you make ours complete.
G
Good grief quit climbing on everything.
H
head: please don't bonk yours anymore (see "G" above)
hugs: You give 'em out freely. But mostly to your Da-Da.
I
ice cream: And lots of it. And shove it as fast as possible into your mouth. Chocolate.
J
John-John: Oh how you love your big brother. As soon as we turn onto the street where his school is located, you start saying it: Jah-Jah!
K
kites: in preparation for Windy March, you and your brother have recently been trying to fly a kite in our neighbor's backyard. You let go, much to his dismay.
kisses: open mouthed right on my cheek. I would never dream of wiping it off even if there's hummus involved.
L
Little Bitty: Sometimes I call you this, or Bitty Little; or sometimes I say, "Him's little, but him's gettin' lots bigger!" It's not even ridiculous.
M
macaroni & cheese: we just thought John-John liked it. You LOVE it.
moon: you love to find the moon on your ceiling (it's an image reflected by your sound machine)
N
night-night: you love your bed -- for naps or at night
O
owl: all who know Sam have seen the point and heard the "OWL!" as you point to various owls around our house
P
planes: when you hear them, you run out from under the porch so you can scan the sky, making the zoom noise all the while.
Q
Quit climbing on everything (see "G" and "H" above)
R
run: try as you may, your little legs haven't quite figured it out yet. Here's a tip: Bend your knees a little bit.
S
Swee Sam: I made up a lullaby for you (it fits to the tune of "Past Life Melodies" by Sarah Hopkins). It goes like this: Sweet Sam / How I love you little lamb / In dreams there's peace / Close your eyes and sleep ... Sweet Sam / Stars shine on you, Sam I Am / Find peace in your dreams / Close your eyes and sleep ...
T
telephone: If it rings, you jump up from what you're doing and run to find it. If you see one -- especially a cell phone, you writhe and contort your body in an attempt to reach it. Sometimes I give you mine. I like to watch you concentrate on it, stick out your tongue, purse your lips, furrow your brows. You so want to text someone.
U
uninterested: in TV. You won't even look at it. Push the buttons, yes, but watch it, no.
V
Very sweet, you are.
W
Wesley: As I noted earlier, your dad and brother came up with this part of your name. Sometimes I call you "W" or just "Dub."
X
xilinous are your cheeks and hair. Look it up.
Y
You, I love.
Z
Zoom. But not too fast, my sweet.
I love you love you love you,
Mama
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