Thursday, November 20, 2008

Mid-November 2008 Update


We have survived the stomach virus, two colds, and are currently working with laryngitis. Mama's THIRD (3rd) bout this year. I don't get it. I don't smoke, I don't clean with harsh chemicals (or even with mild ones for that matter), and I don't have allergies.

I guess it's just the universe reminding me to be quiet sometimes. I won't do it on my own, so it's forced.

Below you'll see the most recent art, featuring two major body parts not previously seen in art of this era.
Mid-November 2008 Art

Everything he does is so wonderful to me. I mean all he did was add ears and hair to his body with eyes and legs and now I'm looking at private schools with art emphases.

While he progresses, unfortunately I digress and regress. Did y'all know there's a show about the try outs for the Dallas Cowboys' Cheerleaders? If you did, and you didn't tell me, then you're in trouble.

Now, I never actually wanted to BE a DCC (a rockette, a figure skater, or a Mandrell sister were my top choices), but Lord knows I would love to get to CHOOSE the DCCs. I have been watching this show every night and I'm getting really close to these girls. I mean really -- they just wanna help people, y'all. They are not in it for the flashy performances, the white boots, or the proximity to extremely rich young athletes.

It's all about the community service. You know ... seeing off the troops heading out to Afganistan, posing with crippled children, and supporting fellow wanna-be DCCs by participating in crying sessions and/or pep talks, whichever is more appropriate for the occasion (getting kicked off = crying; getting a warning that you might = pep talk). And really, it's just like their director tells them when they do get canned: Some of them are just not a fit. It's not the uniform or the dancing or the hair. Sometimes, it's just not a fit. Sometimes they look winded after jumping into the air and falling into a split. Sometimes they just don't have long enough hair or legs or fingernails. But there's always a good reason and it's true: Not everybody is meant to be a DCC.

Right now there are 66 and they've GOT to get that number down to something more reasonable.

In case you wanna watch, it comes on right after "My Big Redneck Wedding" on the country music channel.

Last year it was Delilah. Now this.

I may have to start moonlighting or join another book club.

And if anyone knows what kind of lip gloss Barbara Mandrell used to wear, do tell. I've been trying to get my lips to shine like that for nearly 30 years.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

In case anybody's wondering ...


Radnor Nov. 2008
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn
Now there are two of them barfing (and that other thing that you do when you have a stomach bug).

Fun.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Things that scare me


I wrote a really long, detailed post which got lost when my desktop crashed for the 413th time. Now I'm on the laptop, and I really think that it can all be summed up in six words:


BEYOND BELIEF BACKSEAT BARF and ASTHMA.

Mama said there'd be days like this. But, being an optimist,

I didn't believe her.

Clearly, I'm stupid.

Barf and asthma scare me. Today we had both.

The Goose, on the other hand, is primarily scared by a nine-eyed green hulk. I prefer more everyday problems. That's all, really.


And now, a week in pictures ...

Serious Halloween posing: Serious Halloween Portrait

Candy: candy

What he did after the ingestion of candy: what he did after eating candy Note that the couch has been completely dismantled.

The picture doesn't do this justice ... A Neon Orange Tree in my neighborhood It's NEON. I love fall.

What I did all day today: What I did for HOURS today

What he did all day today: Nebbin' with the marble track

My prayer: Please let all these drugs be working. I couldn't stand to know that all of our efforts were in vain.

And PLEASE let my baking soda/vinegar scrub of the ENTIRE backseat of my car not be in vain either.

Vanity is useless. Steroids and baking soda better not be.