Sunday, July 31, 2005

OOOOOoooh! A wafer!

OOOOOoooh! A wafer!
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
The Goose likes vanilla wafers (and so does his mom ... especially with crunchy peanut butter -- yum yum!). For more pictures of our Sunday, click on the photo.

I can't write much because I'm preparing for court. More updates to come ... stay tuned.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Formula Addict

The Goose has always liked formula, but he hardly ever gets it. Now that I'm working PT and the pump is broken (and by the way, court is Monday at 8:45 a.m.), he is getting Similac twice a week. Apparently he is addicted.

Today we got a surprise visit from Goose's "aunt" Heather and her new hubby Tyler. In the words of a small-town newspaper gossip column, "A good time was had by all."

OK, so back to the court date ... ummm ... I'm getting a little antsy to hear from the defendent (NorthWORST Airlines). My pro bono legal counselors have assured me that Northworst will either (a) settle before Monday, (b) fail to show up, or (c) show up and embarrass themselves because the judge will be overwhelmed by my story and argumentative abilities and force them to pay up (I am equipped with documentation from the American Association of Pediatrics about the benefits of breastfeeding, information from the pump company, receipts, and ...

"Exhibit A, your honor, The Medela Pump-n-Style Backpack itself. As you can see, the suction control knob has been turned past the maximum setting (while in control of NorthWORST Airlines and its agents and/or representatives) and is thus DESTROYED."

What I have failed to calculate (but should have) is the amount that we have spent on formula, the amount of time it took me to figure out how to file suit in small claims court, and, of course, pain and suffering. Please send me some good luck wishes or break a leg wishes or whatever it is that you wish someone who is suing a major airline with a hotshot corporate attorney in small claims court about a broken breast pump. Thank goodness I did mock trial in high school, because otherwise I would be worried.


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Dear NASA,

Our "Saturday"
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
Dear NASA,

You know those robotic arms that y'all use to repair the shuttle while you're up in zero gravity? Well I was just wondering, do you rent those to the general public?

You see, we've got this Prize Baby whose motto is "If I Can Reach It, I Can Wreck It," and so I'm thinking that a robotic arm would be very useful in preventive maintenance for my home. I could just sit on the couch and still keep him from destroying everything in his path. Don't worry, because of our status as state employees of Tennessee, we can pay top dollar. Please let us know.

We look forward to hearing from you soon and thank you in advance.


Mother Goose

p.s. If you'd like to see more pictures of the Reach It/Wreck Baby, please click on the above photo.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Goose Update

The Goose likes to drive
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
Calling all perties with wheels! The Goose is obsessed Obsessed OBSESSED with wheels. He has marked up our walls pushing his stroller around and while we were in Mississippi, he had a blast pushing Pappaw's walker. He also pushes his trucks on the floor like a two year old and sometimes he makes noises that I'm sure are like "zoom zoom" or something brilliant like that.

He is pretty clearly saying "mama" now and meaning it (only in the most endearing ways I'm sure). He also knows to look around for his dad when you say, "Where's Da-Da?"

His newest word is "dirt," which apparently means any object besides a ball. Variations on this word include "irt" and "dat." He says "bye-bye" a lot too, but it's not clear whether he associates it with someone leaving. We're still working on a consistent wave and clapping.

The zerbert craze continues. He tries to blow on any exposed body part and then laughs hysterically. He is also biting exposed parts as well and we are trying to stop that nasty little habit.

His very organized mother left his blankie in the crib at his maternal grandparents' home in Mississippi and so he has been forced to make do with a lesser quality substitute blankie. Macy Fedexed the original on Monday, so we're hoping to get it ASAP. Usually when we hand him his blankie at nap or bedtime he grabs it and buries his face. He pushes the sub away but so far has been able to sleep. At least he has an actual blankie and not an orange La-Z-Boy recliner arm rest cover, which is what I was attached to as a child.

Below I have pasted a picture of me at about Goose's age. I think we still look alike just a titch; however, he is looking more and more like B everyday. His eyes and face shape are different from me even though the nose and teeth are really similar.

BABY KCP @ 9 monthsish


It is so much fun to watch him grow and change and learn and currently I have turned down two fantastic jobs in order to stay here with him and watch the blossoming. Last night I snuck in to catch a glimpse of him before I went to bed (I was at work when he went to sleep) and I accidentally woke him up while patting him and giggling about his position. So I rocked him back to sleep and then held him until my arms nearly gave out from the weight. I just about can't stand to ever put him down. You know that Van Morrison song "Crazy Love"? Well I think that's just about right.

Monday, July 25, 2005

PAPPAW'S 90TH Birthday

PAPPAW'S 90TH Birthday
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
The Goose and I returned last night from Mississippi where we celebrated his great grandfather's 90th birthday ("Pappaw"). It was a fantastic weekend filled with cat chasing, wagon riding, and just a little bit of fit throwing.

All of Pappaw's children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren were there for the big event. As always, if you click on the photo above, you can see some other photos of our little getaway. Thanks to Macy & Grandaddy for being such wonderful hosts.

I will write more later when I get a chance ... right now I'm swamped trying to get unpacked and plan for my teaching this week.

Hope everyone is doing well. Please drop us a line!

Monday, July 18, 2005

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far

Like son
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
Like father

When I was little, I was primarily known for two things: talking nonstop and untaping my diapers. Well friends, the old adage about the apple is true. This morning I went to get Goose up for the day, and whaddayaknow, his diaper was beside him in the crib (luckily it was empty).

Then later today, the guys went on a walk and JEB was trying furiously to remove his hat. B was patiently replacing it each time and saying "no" firmly. After about 22 times, The Dad finally won and the hat stayed on. But about a minute later, The Goose looked up at his dad and said, “no no no no no no no.”

When B was little, he was a climber and can you tell where this is headed? A few days ago I found JEB in his room on top of a plastic bin which is directly in front of his window. He climbed up to get a better view.

The pictures above are of B and J at about the same age. Can you tell which is which? After my trip to Mississippi this weekend, I’m hoping to get one of myself to post.

If you want to comment on anything, you can click on the pictures and then make your comments about the photos themselves inside the program I use called “Flickr.”

Thanks for reading!

Sunday, July 17, 2005

What's that Mr. Nike?

What's that Mr. Nike?
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.

You want to use my photos in your ads? Well, that sure is flattering, but I don't think you have enough money in your little account for that. This kid ain't for sale.

Goose's new outfit looks so cute on him ... especially while he was playing with his soccer ball. Thanks Grammy!

Yesterday we went downtown for a birthday celebration. We attempted to go to a restaurant, but The Goose ended up on top of the table alternately stuffing sugar packets in his mouth and dunking his hand into our glasses of ice water. So we abandoned the idea of eating (you know it's bad when I will turn down food to avoid a potential BMSF) and went to a grassy area by the river which runs through town. We let JEB crawl around in the grass for awhile (he can't do this at home because we're too worried about him eating chicken poop). He liked this better, and you can see the photos if you click on the one above.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend!

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Dear John Letters

Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
This is the first in a series of birthday letters to JEB. I must admit that I stole the idea from someone else, but here goes ...

Dear JEB,

You are 10 months old today, but I feel like your my new baby doll toy. Sometimes you're an unbelievably fun toy that I want to take everywhere and show off and brag about, and other times you're a toy that requires lots of assembly and batteries in a size that we don't have in the house (and we suspect they don't even sell). But you are ALWAYS MY favorite perty.

Obviously you aren't yet aware that I know what's best for you. And partially you are right; however, I wish that you could just trust me on the matter of electrical outlets.

You sleep with your butt in the air. You eat with your hands ... the spoon is so insulting to you that we don't even try anymore. Diaper changes are like holy war in our house. Up to now, I have always come out the victor, but I can see that that ability will continue to diminish as you get bigger and stronger. You can wave and give high fives. You practice soccer daily. You like your toys, but you really love cold bottles, the stereo, and the computer's on/off button. You eat pickles and spaghetti (sometimes together). You grab your sippy cup when you're thirsty and throw it when you're all done. You LOVE your daddy.

You are certainly the hardest work I've ever done. I'm trying my best, but I'm still so far from the supermom that I want to be for you. I haven't yet learned how to contain my love -- it still burns up everything around it like a wildfire -- my career, my relationships with friends and family, my ability to control the panic I feel when when I start thinking about how lucky I am and what if it were all taken away suddenly? But I'm working on it, and I always will.


Friday, July 15, 2005

Dish Duty

Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
Today JEB discovered the dishwasher, crawled inside, and investigated the detergent compartment. Don't worry, it was a clean load, so all of the detergent had been rinsed away and anyway, we use non-toxic, biodegradable dish fluid.

Also, yesterday, on LEARN EVERYTHING DAY, there was one other thing that I forgot to write:

#5. Putting a ball in a cup and taking it out. Over and over. Again and again. Repeatedly.

This morning, the zerbert craze continued. I was on the floor stretching my back when he crawled over, pulled up my shirt, and zerberted my stomach just like last night in the tub. Good stuff.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Learn Everything Day

Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
Ladies & Gentlemen,

Did you know that today was LEARN EVERYTHING DAY? Here is a list of what our Prince accomplished today:

1. Saying "Bah," for "ball," as you already know.

2. Standing by himself for approximately 32 seconds.

3. Imitating me saying "BYE-BYE" on the phone to Grammy. Yes, on the same day he said, "Bah." Yes, I know, it's unbelievable.

4. Playing zerbert in the bathtub on mommy's tummy.

Now, #4 may need a little bit of explanation ...

Usually during hairwash nights, I get in the tub with The Goose just to prevent a major backache and mopping the floor. So tonight while he was playing, I just relaxed back and watched. Then, all of a sudden, he crawled up onto my belly, buried his face, and blew. Like a fart sound. Like a zerbert. Like he's a total and complete genius comedian wonderbaby. Then, he looked up at me, laughed hysterically (see above picture), and proceeded to do it over and over again until all three of us were exhausted from laughing. It was THE funniest thing in the history of The Goose, and possibly the funniest and happiest moment of my life to date.

What did YOU do on Learn Everything Day?


Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
The Goose has spoken his first word! I thought my ears were deceiving me yesterday, but it was confirmed this morning by the Dad who lives here ...

Our little genius can say BALL! Ok, so actually it's more like BAH, but he definitely means ball and can even say it while practicing soccer (further evidence of his soaring development).

Today I pointed at the ball three times and said, "What's this?" and he replied, "BAH." Then I made him cry by jumping up and down screaming HE DID IT HE DID IT HE DID IT!

Today we are going for a tour of a "Mommy's Day Out" program that The Prince is considering for the fall. It's only one of his many options, and they're courting him big time. He insisted upon an 11 a.m. appointment instead of their suggestion, 10 a.m. Who do they think they are? What ten month old isn't napping at 10 a.m.? Please people, don't insult him.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Hedgehog has Been Located

Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.

Last night I was unpacking The Prince's suitcase from the Ozark Adventure and happened to look in a pocket that hadn't been opened since our last trip to Mississippi (in April). In it I found The Lost Hedgehog Teether, which was a favorite. I gave it to The Goose prior to his bath last night and he appeared to be very happy that we had finally located his lost perty. Note the concentration as he examines it closely, thinking, "Hmmm, I don't remember these bitable feet, but otherwise all parts appear to be intact."

Prior to this bath shot, he did his pre-bath ritual ... running around naked upstairs ("airing it out"), rolling out the TP, eating some, then clogging the drain with it. Here's proof:


Note that despite the TP distraction, The Hedgehog is still in hand.

After bathtime, we always have storytime. It begins with Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown, pictures by Clement Hurd (it's always important to say the author and illustrator). This is followed by Is Your Mama a Llama (or, as B likes to say, "Is your mama Kim Laden?"), and then a prayer from the daily prayer book. On good nights, it looks like this:


Other times it resembles what happens when you try to give oral medication to a cat. Note Hedgehog still in hands.

In my previous post about our family vacation, I forgot to mention that Great Grandpa B brought The Goose a very special gift: a collapsible, silver baby cup that has been passed down to family members named John since 1860. It has even been around the world. A treasure!

Other "happies" from the trip included a Minnesota Twins outfit (also from GGB), and several outfits from Grammy (my personal favorite of which is a onesie that reads, "If I can reach it, I can wreck it"), more Baby Einstein DVDs (hints work, even if they're subtle), and a set of jumbo-sized lego blocks. Thanks y'all!

It is still cloudy/rainy/windy from the hurricane, but we're having a blast. Yesterday we went to our favorite Japanese restaurant and The Goose attracted all sorts of attention by eating avocado slices and rice from my chopsticks. Talent oozes from this child.

Happy Wednesday to all!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

We're Baaaaaa----aaack!

Ozarks Vacation
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
Home again home again hippety hop. We're back from our Ozark adventure, and we're relatively tick, chigger, and poison ivy free. Relatively I said.

Four generations met up for some hiking, eating, game-playing (mostly chess and cribbage), and a lot of just rocking on the porch. We had a fantastic view of the Ozarks from our cabin right outside of Jasper, Arkansas.

I don't have much time to write, but I will say that one of the highlights of the trip was when The Goose pooped on the front porch while standing up by the picnic table totally naked. There was also a fun cribbage tournament which I would've won if we had had time to finish. I believe a certain never-ending chess game blocked the completion of the tourny.

When we got home, The Goose was so excited that he did laps around his playroom and attempted to play with every single toy, book, and perty he owns before crashing at 7:00 p.m. last night. He was an angel the whole time ... even in the car, and I'm starting to think we're gonna keep him.

If you click on the photo above you can see some other shots of the weekend. More later ...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

It's all in a day's work: playing, eating, waving, & destroying

It's all in a day's work for The Goose. Between yesterday and today, Goose has had two playdates with friends.

Goose & McKutie (not her real name), a park employee's daughter, are drawing with markers. She's about two.

Here, Goose & Little Ricky (not his real name) are playing bang-bang on the ironing board, which was lowered to their height. He's about the same age as Goose.

Here are some more shots of these cuties ... just to continue showing off the new camera:
playmates playmates

Otherwise, it's been business as usual ...
Eating pickles & spaghetti.

Waving ...
HI MOM  ... I'm waving!

And destroying magazines ...
destruction of a magazine

Tomorrow we're off to the Ozarks. The next update will probably be on Monday night ... stay tuned.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Wild Child

Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
Hi folks. This may be the last post for a while because in two days from now we will be headed to the Ozarks for a family vacation with Goose's paternal grandparents (even Great Grandpa B will be there!) and his only aunt and uncle.

I took some pictures yesterday of Goose and his dad and then B took some of me and the Goose which you may be interested in.

We'll be back on Monday, and hopefully I'll have some fun shots of four generations!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
Isn't he sneaky? Look at those eyes! And the teeth! And the curl of hair extending over the left ear!

For the Fourth, we celebrated at B's boss's house. The Goose spent his time there stalking another guest's dog, poking the dog in the eyes multiple times, and teething on a corn cob. It's so nice that I have this really great camera that I forget to take with me EVERYWHERE.

B says that it may be a blessing in disguise that I am so forgetful since likely the camera would not come back home with us (and the warranty doesn't cover loss or theft). So the picture above is from the part of the holiday where we were watching Baby Beethoven for the 237th time. He still loves those videos and in case you need any ideas about what to get him for his upcoming birthday (he has one a month BTW), there are many other Baby Einstein videos that we do not own. Like, for example, "Baby Shakespeare," "Baby Galileo," etc. Not that I'm hinting, I mean, really, I'm much more subtle than that.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Sunday Blues

Multi-burst mode
Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
No, your computer is not messed up ... I actually intended the photo to be like that. If you look at it from top to bottom and left to right, you will see that it's a record of about 1.5 seconds of The Prince's life. I can't get over how amazing this camera is!

Well, the title of this post is appropriate: Today was not the greatest day. Last night we went to the Holmgren's house for dinner and Goose stayed up WAY past his bedtime. So all day he was fussy and finally I just had to put him in bed at 6:45 p.m. -- the earliest bedtime in the history of Goosekind. I'm sure I'll be up at 4 a.m.

His newest dislike is diaper changing. Tonight after dinner, he was writhing like an alligator (have you seen that show about the guy who hunts the crocodiles? That's what it's like.) to the point that I had to physically restrain him to get the diaper on. I assume it's normal since the changing table comes with a strap. I give him all kinds of inappropriate things (e.g., rubber bands, bracelets, picture albums, etc.) just to keep him occupied while I quickly wrap up his butt in a pamper. Another request we have is a full-time nanny/housekeeper since it takes two people to deal with and clean up after this one little guy.

Currently he has three loves: old plastic water bottles without the caps, the old camera, and our stereo. Also, he MUST eat with his own hands and refuses to eat out of a spoon unless it's something really good (like some of my grits from breakfast this morning). As a result of this do-it-myself phase, I am forced to mop the floor around his highchair after EVERY MEAL. I'm sure no other mom has ever worked as hard as me.

The picture above was taken in multi-burst mode, but I also took some fabulous (if I do say so myself) black and white portraits of him today. To view those, please click on the picture above, as always.

Maybe Monday will be better ... after all, it is a holiday. Happy 4th of July to all!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Out of Control Mom Gets New Camera and is On the Loose

Originally uploaded by Kimmy Crack Corn.
I had to show you what this camera can do ... sepia and black and white! The pictures are reduced, so they may appear a little blurry on the website, but when I print them they look FABULOUS! You can see what all I have done today if you click on the picture above.

The Prodigy

See ... the music class yesterday inspired him!